by Donna Stramella
EVERY
FAMILY HAS A STORY.
My grandfather Walter and grandmother Josephine emigrated from
Poland as teenagers. After they met and married, they opened a
confectionery store and later a corner grocery. Most of their
customers were factory workers who lived from paycheck to
paycheck. Food was often purchased on credit. My aunt tells a
story of her father's generosity: One of the store's customers
was consistently late in paying his bill. Although his current
tally was unusually high, he wanted to make a purchase for
dinner. "Give him our meat," my grandfather said in his
thick European accent, as he wrapped the beef meant for his own
family's meal. "We can do without for one night. He works
hard in the factory all day and needs the nourishment." That
simple story of kindness has inspired me on many occasions. And
there are many more of these historical treasures just waiting to
be discovered in your own family.
PERSONALIZED
HISTORY
The term "family values" means many different things to
many different people. What does it mean to you? The history of
your family is a living, growing, continual history. Some
chapters of your story will be uplifting, motivating--Aunt Clare
taking in a neighboring family when the father lost his job.
Another chapter may be funny--Grandpop's car breaking down on the
way to his wedding. There will be painful remembrances as
well--ancestors who were forced to America on slave ships or
distant cousins who died in concentration camps. These stories
are not just important for today. They are important for
tomorrow--for ancestors who are yet to come.
As plotting family genealogy trees becomes increasingly popular,
people search data banks for evidence of the past. Documents
provide names and dates, but not the personal stories behind the
facts. Unfortunately, many of our elderly relatives' stories
exist only in their minds, and once they are gone, so is their
vault of memories. Author Alex Haley once said, "When an old
person dies, it is like a library burning." So how do we
unlock these treasure chests before it's too late?
HARVESTING
THE PAST
Talking with grandparents is a good place to start. In their
book, LET'S MAKE A MEMORY, authors Gloria Gaither and Shirley
Dobson suggest planning a special evening to unlock the past.
"Plan a visit to each set of grandparents, prearranging that
the theme of the visit will be to have the grandparents share
their reminiscences of earlier years and their information about
family background." The authors suggest using a tape
recorder or video camera to make a permanent record.
"Most children have very little knowledge of their
grandparents' earlier years," they write, "yet this
background offers one of the richest sources of tradition and
identity within a family." While most grandparents will
delight in sharing information from their childhood, others will
need a little coaxing. And grandparents are certainly not the
only source. Aunts, uncles and cousins all hold their own sagas.
There's a real connection to history here--rationing during the
depression, marching for civil rights, moving from the city to
the suburbs in the 1950s. American history books just can't
compete with your own family's story.
The book UNPUZZLING YOUR PAST by Emily Anne Croom offers a series
of questions to ask family members. "There are hundreds of
questions you can ask about each generation," she writes.
"Each answer may suggest new questions ... Some pieces of
information are more important than others. Some are more
interesting. Historians seek any pertinent information, but the
family historian will want to be careful not to pull out of the
closet skeletons which might cause harm or embarrassment. Family
histories must be truthful, but families may prefer to leave some
chapters closed where it is unnecessary to mention the
information at all." The book also suggests using a form
(and provides an example of one) to gather information from
relatives who live out of state.
Anne Arundel Community College offers a continuing education
class called "Family Reunions and Histories." The class
teaches how to record family history through a writing project at
your next family reunion.
A
PERMANENT RECORD
Putting pen to paper, or hands to keyboard, is the next step.
First, decide what type of format you will use to display your
story. Options range from a simple binder to a soft bound book to
a hard bound record. Office stores offer a wide range of binding
styles.
The story should also be categorized. While most family histories
are presented chronologically, others are divided with individual
chapters for each author. If you're computer literate, there are
plenty of software choices to help organize the project.
Photos add an important dimension to your story. If you do not
have the capability to scan photos into your computer, reproduce
them on a standard or color copy machine. Ask relatives for
copies of their best candid shots from the past--Uncle Bill
holding up the fish that didn't get away, Aunt Susan riding her
first horse. Most families have passed down copies of formal
photos, such as weddings and graduations. The more casual shots
seem to disappear over the years. Other "extras" you
may want to add include favorite family recipes, portions of old
letters, newspaper clippings, pages from a diary, copy of a
yearbook page, sketches of an old home, short prose and poetry.
If you'd like to take an easier route, companies exist that
create personal biographies for families. Once you've gathered
all the information, the company takes over and produces the hard
copy. On such company is Future Treasures (www.grailquest.com), but an Internet search on
keywords "family history" will produce plenty of
choices. If you are not quite ready to tackle such a big project,
but are anxious to get your own story on paper, consider a
logbook. These books differ from plain journals in that each page
offers a writing prompt. REFLECTIONS FROM A MOTHER'S HEART is
pretty, rose-trimmed version from Word Publishing. The book is
divided by month and asks questions like "Who was your
favorite teacher and why?" and "Describe your first
kiss." Weightier topics--such as prayer and learning about
sex--are also explored. The book allows plenty of space to write
your reply.
INVOLVING
CHILDREN
Children are naturally curious. They are great interviewers, and
grandparents may be less intimidated when grandchildren ask the
questions. Involve the kids with organizing information and
deciding what photos make the final cut. The project will not
only give them a more complete picture of their own family, it
will help them understand the dynamics of family life overall.